"I should lose weight." "I should stop drinking." "I should redo my finances."
We're about one week into the new year. Statistically, most new people at your gym are already halfway toward abandoning their New Year's resolution of losing twenty pounds. If this describes you, don't fret. There's a reason you're already thinking of quitting: You probably weren't motivated to work on that goal in the first place.
The Transtheoretical Model of Change
Readiness to change evolves over time; it's not a light switch. If you've smoked for years and recently decided to quit, you were probably thinking about quitting for a while before trying it. And you've probably relapsed several times. If you've wanted to lose weight, you probably won't quit pizza and beer cold turkey. That's not how people operate. We don't just fold the laundry because we "should" fold the laundry.
First developed in the late 1970s by Prochaska and DiClemente, the Transtheoretical Model of Change (TTM) posits that people's motivation to change evolves over the following stages:
Precontemplation. At this point, you're either unaware of the need to change or actively don't want to. For example, if you smoke and don't think smoking is detrimental, you might be in this stage.
Contemplation. This is the "maybe I should change something" stage. You might start weighing pros and cons even if you're not interested in taking action yet. You're getting ready in case you decide to start. This might be when you buy nicotine gum or look up local gyms.
Preparation. You've gotten over your last breakup and are ready to get back out there, so you download a few dating apps. You might even start swiping. Maybe you match with someone.
Action. You're doing the thing! It feels awkward and strange, but you're powering through.
Maintenance. You've been doing the thing for a while and it's starting to feel routine. You've cut down on your spending and want to avoid racking up more credit card debt, so you cut up your credit card. You've recruited a friend to go climbing with you so you're not alone at the gym.
Termination. Way to go! You've made the new routine part of your life and no longer worry about relapsing. You finally got your puppy, so you don't think about shopping anymore.
These stages are non-linear. That is, you can move from any stage to any other stage at any time.
Why the TTM Matters
Let's circle back to where we started. I often hear clients talk about how they "should" do this or that. My answer is always the same: "Should is a bad word. What I hear you saying is that you don't actually want to do that. Let's talk about what you really want." Usually, the "should" is a goal that feels daunting and inaccessible, which functions as a motivation blocker. By breaking the goal into smaller steps, my clients often move from "I should" or "I want to, but..." to "Oh, I can actually do that." For many people, that shift in perspective is often enough to boost their motivation and start them on the path toward whatever their goal is. It removes the pressure that comes with clinging to the idealized "should."
How to Use the TTM
Be honest about your current stage. You are where you are, not where you think you should be. Are you actually ready to quit smoking, or are you just thinking about it?
Set the right goal. If you don't care about (for example) starting a socialist agricultural commune, why would you make that your goal? Try picking something that aligns with your values, like, I don't know, joining someone else's socialist agricultural commune.
Get help. True autonomy is a myth. You're more likely to succeed if you find support and encouragement from someone else.
Be patient. The stages aren't linear. Backward momentum is forward momentum.
Evaluate and readjust. Check in with yourself from time to time. Does the goal still matter? Have you lost motivation? If so, there's probably a reason.
Start Working With a Life Transitions Therapist in Des Plaines, IL
In conclusion, change is hard. I get it. Give me a call and let's talk about it. If you are ready to start therapy and make lasting changes, I would be happy to help support you. You can start your therapy journey with Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates PLLC by following these simple steps:
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Other Services Offered with Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates, PLLC
Support for life transitions and changes isn't the only service offered at Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates, PLLC. I offer a variety of therapy services to support different parts of your life. I also provide Anxiety Therapy, EMDR Therapy, Couples Therapy, Self-Esteem counseling, and more. With my extensive experience and specialized training in multiple therapy modalities, I can customize my approach to meet your specific needs. Reach out today to begin your journey toward a happier, more fulfilling life.
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