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Are Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem the Same?

Micah Shapiro

Updated: Oct 21, 2024

Self-confidence and self-esteem are often used interchangeably, but they’re not quite the same thing. They’re like two sides of the same coin, closely related but distinct in important ways. Understanding the difference can help you navigate your personal growth journey more effectively—and with a bit more humor! For those seeking professional support, Therapy for Self-Esteem and Confidence in Des Plaines, IL offers valuable insights and tailored guidance to help you thrive on this journey.

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Which Comes First Self-Esteem or Self-Confidence?


Think of self-esteem as the foundation of a house and self-confidence as the rooms built upon it. Self-esteem is about how you feel about yourself at your core—it’s your overall sense of self-worth. On the other hand, self-confidence is how comfortable you feel about handling the world around you—it’s your belief in your abilities to succeed in specific situations.


Generally, self-esteem comes first. If you have a strong foundation of self-esteem, it’s easier to build self-confidence. When you feel good about who you are, you’re more likely to take risks and trust your abilities. However, it’s a two-way street. Sometimes, building self-confidence in particular areas can help boost your overall self-esteem. For example, mastering a new skill can make you feel more competent and valuable.

So, which came first, the chicken or the egg? In this case, it’s the egg—self-esteem lays the groundwork for that confident chicken to strut its stuff!


How to Tell If Someone Has Low Self-Esteem


Spotting low self-esteem isn’t always straightforward because it can manifest in different ways. People with low self-esteem often have a negative view of themselves. They might feel unworthy, unloved, or inadequate. This can lead to behaviors like constantly apologizing, avoiding challenges, or being overly critical of themselves. It’s like having a tiny, relentless critic in your head, giving a play-by-play of everything you do wrong.


You might notice someone with low self-esteem shying away from social interactions or opportunities for fear of failure or rejection. They may seem overly concerned with what others think of them, often seeking validation and reassurance. Their inner dialogue is usually harsh, filled with self-doubt and negative self-talk. Think of it as having a mean roommate who just won’t leave.


Physical Signs of Low Self-Esteem


Low self-esteem doesn’t just affect your mind; it can take a toll on your body, too. People with low self-esteem might exhibit physical signs that reflect their inner struggles. They often have poor posture, slumping shoulders, and minimal eye contact. It’s as if they’re trying to make themselves smaller, to avoid being noticed or judged. They walk around like they’re trying to hide from a bad haircut.


Another physical sign can be neglecting personal appearance. This doesn’t mean everyone who dresses casually has low self-esteem, but a significant and consistent disregard for personal grooming might indicate deeper issues. You might also notice signs of stress, like nail-biting, fidgeting, or other nervous habits. These physical manifestations can be a way of coping with the internal tension and anxiety that often accompany low self-esteem. It’s like their body is saying, “I’m not okay, and I’m really hoping no one will notice.”


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What Are the Signs of Low Self-Confidence?


Low self-confidence is more situational than low self-esteem. It’s about doubting your abilities in specific contexts. Someone with low self-confidence might avoid tasks or situations where they feel they might fail. They often hesitate to try new things, fearing they won’t measure up or that they’ll make mistakes. It’s like having stage fright, but for everyday life.


You might recognize low self-confidence in people who frequently second-guess their decisions, ask for excessive feedback, or have difficulty making choices. They might also avoid taking the lead, preferring to stay in the background rather than risk being in the spotlight. Their fear of failure or rejection can be paralyzing, preventing them from reaching their full potential.


For example, in a meeting, a person with low self-confidence might avoid speaking up, even if they have valuable insights. They may worry about being judged or saying something wrong, leading to missed opportunities to contribute and grow. It’s like they’re stuck in an endless game of “What if?” and “Maybe not.”

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Bringing It All Together


Understanding the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence can help you identify where you might need to focus your efforts for personal growth. Building a strong foundation of self-esteem can make it easier to develop self-confidence in various areas of your life. Similarly, tackling specific confidence challenges can gradually improve your overall sense of self-worth. So, how does self-esteem affect confidence? Essentially, a healthy self-esteem lays the groundwork for feeling confident in your abilities and actions. If you're wondering how to build confidence and self-esteem in adults, start by addressing these foundational elements.


If you recognize signs of low self-esteem or self-confidence in yourself, remember that you’re not alone. Many people struggle with these issues, but there are ways to improve. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to explore what therapy is best for self-esteem and confidence. They can help you develop strategies to boost your self-esteem and confidence. Practice self-compassion, challenge negative thoughts, and take small steps toward your goals.


Ultimately, building self-esteem and self-confidence is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, effort, and a willingness to face your fears. But with time and persistence, you can create a more positive and empowered sense of self. And remember, even Rome wasn’t built in a day—so give yourself a break, laugh at your mistakes, and keep moving forward. You’ve got this!


Find Your Confidence and Self-Esteem through Therapy for Self-Esteem and Confidence in Des Plaines, IL


Are you feeling stuck, or struggling with low self-esteem or confidence? It's time to take the first step toward a more empowered you. Therapy can be a powerful tool to help you explore your inner world and cultivate a positive self-image. I've spent over a decade helping individuals like you overcome challenges related to self-esteem, relationships, and direction in life. Through Therapy for Self-Esteem and Confidence in Des Plaines, IL, I create a safe, supportive environment where you can explore your feelings and unlock your true potential. Our sessions will focus on nurturing your ability to heal, grow, and thrive. Imagine experiencing those breakthrough moments that lead to a more confident, empowered you. Are you ready to take the next step?



Additional Therapy Services at Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates, PLLC


While building confidence and self-esteem might be your main goal right now, it's likely not the only challenge you're facing. At Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates, PLLC, I offer a variety of therapy services to support you in different areas of your life. In addition to self-esteem and confidence building, I provide therapy for anxiety, depression, couples counseling, and more. With extensive experience and specialized training in various therapeutic modalities, I can customize my approach to meet your unique needs. Let's work together to address your challenges and pave the way toward a happier, more fulfilling life. Reach out today to begin your journey.

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