Gentlemen, have you ever wondered if you're cut out to be a father?
Chances are you have. And I'll go out on a limb and say, if you find yourself thinking about it more than once, you probably are cut out to be a father. The guys who don't want kids are usually pretty clear about that. Your ambivalence might actually be a good sign that fatherhood is in your future.
There's a common misconception that you can't become a father until you feel completely certain, prepared, and confident about it. That simply isn't the case. Parenting is incredibly challenging and yes, it can be incredibly stressful. Your kids will make you feel things all over the feelings wheel. It's not about feeling happy and confident all the time, because, believe me, you won't.
When my clients bring these questions into therapy, we invariably get into issues like unresolved feelings about their upbringings, self-esteem, and emotion tolerance. In other words, the question, "Am I cut out to be a father" is usually the capstone of a whole pyramid of emotion, one that's worth exploring whether you ultimately become a father or not.
It’s completely natural to have doubts about your ability to be a good father—after all, you’re stepping into a role that carries immense responsibility.
You might worry about whether you’ll have the patience, the emotional capacity, or even the practical skills to care for a child. Maybe you didn’t have the best role models growing up, or perhaps you feel like you’re still figuring yourself out. The truth is, no parent feels 100% ready, and those who question themselves are often the ones who take the role the most seriously. The fact that you’re reflecting on this means you care deeply, and that’s already a sign of a strong foundation for fatherhood.
Fear of failure is another major concern for many new dads.
You may wonder if you’ll make mistakes, struggle to connect, or fall short in some way. But being a great father isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, learning as you go, and being willing to grow alongside your child. You won’t always have the answers, and that’s okay. What matters most is your presence, your willingness to listen, and your ability to offer love and support. Kids don’t need perfect dads; they need dads who are engaged, who try, and who love them unconditionally. If you’re willing to do that, you’re already more than cut out for the job.
Fatherhood isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up, learning, and growing alongside your child. Every great dad starts as a beginner, filled with uncertainties and fears. But with time, experience, and a willingness to be present, you’ll find your rhythm. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be there. Your love, effort, and commitment will mean more to your child than anything else. So take a deep breath, trust yourself, and know that you are more capable than you think. You’ve got this.
Address Postpartum Depression in Men in Des Plaines, IL
If you're struggling with doubts about fatherhood or experiencing mood changes after your baby’s arrival, you don’t have to go through it alone. Postpartum depression in men is real, and support is available. Reach out to Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates, PLLC today to start your journey toward understanding, healing, and becoming the father you want to be. Start your journey by following these simple steps:
Contact us to schedule a session and take the first step toward feeling like yourself again.
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Other Services Offered with Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates, PLLC
Therapy for men isn't the only service that I offer at Shapiro Psychotherapy Associates, PLLC, I offer a variety of therapy services to support different parts of your life. Beyond EMDR, I provide Anxiety Therapy, EMDR Therapy, Couples Therapy, Self-Esteem counseling, and more. With my extensive experience and specialized training in multiple therapy modalities, I can customize my approach to meet your specific needs. Reach out today to begin your journey toward a happier, more fulfilling life.
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